Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Me And My New Year Resolutions……
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account - Oscar Wilde
Even though I make them every year only to break them every year, often forgetting them by my Birth Day, I don't seem to have got tired of them . Well I am talking about my new year resolutions or resolves in the past 25 years. The failure of not being able to attain the goals year after year has not deterred me from taking more vows in the beginning of the very next year. Ever since I knew the meaning of “New Year Resolution” , I did not fail to perform this annual ritual of making a commitment towards a lifestyle change (for better ofcourse) for every morning of the new year. By the time New Greeting Cards were sent through snail mail (during non sms-email-facebook-tweeting era) I had a long list of bad habits I'd like to get rid off and before Christmas festivities were over, I would be finalizing my New Year's resolutions with lofty goals for the New Year. The vows were ofcourse different during different phases of life depending upon the prevailing circumstances .
When I was in School and college, attaining academic excellence was of supreme importance in my life. So during those period, the resolves normally ranged from stuyding hard , improving grades , learning some thing new ( a game or a new language) , become more organized, manage time to become more independent etc.. etc.. According to a Time report a poll had found that while 65% of people who made a resolution in 2008 kept their promise for at least part of the year, 35% never even made it out of the gate. Well I think I was always in the 65% , since my resolves stood ground atleast for some days ( the duration span mostly being inversely proportional to the effort in sustaining the effort) before giving in to greater forces. After receiving the new year diary , I would make a time table with specified hours for study , extra curricular activities , recreation, house cleaning , socializing etc. First few days were always as per the time table. But as days rolled by , leisure time were waxed and the study time waned the total time in the routine remaining constant. And , by the time first quarter of the year passed, new year resolves were things of the past and in all probabilities forgotten by grey cells only to be reminded during exam times. But as an incorrigible resolution maker, again in the next year I would resolute to renew all old resolves while adding a few more to the old inventory.
After I got married and settled in job , my New Year commitments were entirely different. My responsibilities were now of dissimilar nature and so also demands and expectations from me. After my son was born, I started adding those extra pounds and had little time for any thing else . I could hardly fit into my old clothes and on top of it would be stressed most often trying to manage work and home with two small children ( my husband some times behaves smaller than my son) to take care of . So every year I would come up with new agendas. If I saw a lady driving smartly on the city roads and my chauffer giving me a hard time, then driving on a regular basis was my resolve for the next year. If I was suffering from stress and anxiety in the last week of December , then I would vow to lead a stress free relaxed less grumpy life with overdose of Yoga and Meditation. Going for a swim atleast during the non-winter days was one year’s resolution when the realization suddenly dawned upon me one day that it is a great calorie burner added to the fact that it might prove to be life saver at certain unforeseen circumstances. Giving up Tea was also in the chart one time but probably the shortest lived resolve. One year I even thought of reforming myself by becoming more assertive and not taking all the crap people said . But the three things which never failed to make it to the chart every year were 1) lose weight 2) exercise more 3 ) eat healthy. I need not say how much committed I was towards these self improvement exercises as My present physical state is a good report card and speaks for itself.
So all these thoughts of lifestyle changes using New Year Resolution as a means for remaking my life have not been very effective so far. But then I am a born optimist and a great believer in the saying “Failure is the stepping stone to success”( Only thing is in my case success seems to be residing on the top floor of a 25 storied building with no lift ) . So not to give up , this year too I dared to make a resolve , to supervise my son’s studies seriously. I told him “you will be in class IX and both you and I need to take care of your academics seriously” . Although he laughed at it at first possibly factoring in my past performance , he was still apprehensive. He should not have bothered much of course because by the time his final term got over my vigilance had become 10% of original. He is still waiting for it to come down to 0.
Since I am publishing this post more than 4 months (that too after being subtly reminded by friends and colleagues that I am getting lazier day by day) , my Son was a little curious to know about the subject of the post . After listening about the topic he rolled his eyes cynically and asked “don’t you think you are a little late to write about new year resolutions, we are in April now” . I told him we have the advantage of being able to make resolutions and introspect about them atleast two times a year. Once according to the Gregorian calandar and again in April when in many regions of India, the Solar New Year begins (Vishub Sankranti , Vishu, Baisakhi , Poila Baisakh ) . Since today is Oriya New Year Day , this is the right for reflecting on why my stack of good intentions before the new year were often derailed and drained within a few weeks.
As I think and ponder over them , the First thing which comes to my mind is that my goals were probably too many at a time and hence unattainable . One must prioritise the resolutions and choose the one most essential or most critical at the moment . Trying to reduce , learn piano , master continental cooking all at a time is a ridiculous proposition for normal and lazy human beings like . So One At a Time is the Mantra. Secondly instead of having vague subjective goals, it should be more objective , focused and for smaller period to start with . For example instead of Exercise More and reduce weight, it should be like spending 45 min on the treadmill for atleast 5 days a week or trying to reduce 1 Kg in one month. This way goals can be measurable as well as accomplishable. Thirdly The resolutions should be shared amongst friends and family members even at the cost of inviting their cynicism. They can help us by accompanying us in the path or their stimulus in the form gentle nudges when we digress from our path can help in generating the required response in us. Fourthly , resolutions should not be done whimsically without much thought or planning . More the amount of emotional investment we make towards our resolves more is the desire and motivation to keep it going . Last but not the least is the perseverance . There is no substitute to hard work . So this is the most vital ingredient in making the resolution recipe a mouth watering one.
Now coming to my next year’s resolutions , yes I have already made one . This time no excuses will be allowed and no rationalization of lapses and failures. I have resolved to be a more punctual , more sincere and more serious blogger and would contribute at least two posts for month . Now that I have made it open on the net , please don’t forget to give me that much needed push in the right direction when I don’t appear to work hard enough …
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. ~Author Unknown
Even though I make them every year only to break them every year, often forgetting them by my Birth Day, I don't seem to have got tired of them . Well I am talking about my new year resolutions or resolves in the past 25 years. The failure of not being able to attain the goals year after year has not deterred me from taking more vows in the beginning of the very next year. Ever since I knew the meaning of “New Year Resolution” , I did not fail to perform this annual ritual of making a commitment towards a lifestyle change (for better ofcourse) for every morning of the new year. By the time New Greeting Cards were sent through snail mail (during non sms-email-facebook-tweeting era) I had a long list of bad habits I'd like to get rid off and before Christmas festivities were over, I would be finalizing my New Year's resolutions with lofty goals for the New Year. The vows were ofcourse different during different phases of life depending upon the prevailing circumstances .
When I was in School and college, attaining academic excellence was of supreme importance in my life. So during those period, the resolves normally ranged from stuyding hard , improving grades , learning some thing new ( a game or a new language) , become more organized, manage time to become more independent etc.. etc.. According to a Time report a poll had found that while 65% of people who made a resolution in 2008 kept their promise for at least part of the year, 35% never even made it out of the gate. Well I think I was always in the 65% , since my resolves stood ground atleast for some days ( the duration span mostly being inversely proportional to the effort in sustaining the effort) before giving in to greater forces. After receiving the new year diary , I would make a time table with specified hours for study , extra curricular activities , recreation, house cleaning , socializing etc. First few days were always as per the time table. But as days rolled by , leisure time were waxed and the study time waned the total time in the routine remaining constant. And , by the time first quarter of the year passed, new year resolves were things of the past and in all probabilities forgotten by grey cells only to be reminded during exam times. But as an incorrigible resolution maker, again in the next year I would resolute to renew all old resolves while adding a few more to the old inventory.
After I got married and settled in job , my New Year commitments were entirely different. My responsibilities were now of dissimilar nature and so also demands and expectations from me. After my son was born, I started adding those extra pounds and had little time for any thing else . I could hardly fit into my old clothes and on top of it would be stressed most often trying to manage work and home with two small children ( my husband some times behaves smaller than my son) to take care of . So every year I would come up with new agendas. If I saw a lady driving smartly on the city roads and my chauffer giving me a hard time, then driving on a regular basis was my resolve for the next year. If I was suffering from stress and anxiety in the last week of December , then I would vow to lead a stress free relaxed less grumpy life with overdose of Yoga and Meditation. Going for a swim atleast during the non-winter days was one year’s resolution when the realization suddenly dawned upon me one day that it is a great calorie burner added to the fact that it might prove to be life saver at certain unforeseen circumstances. Giving up Tea was also in the chart one time but probably the shortest lived resolve. One year I even thought of reforming myself by becoming more assertive and not taking all the crap people said . But the three things which never failed to make it to the chart every year were 1) lose weight 2) exercise more 3 ) eat healthy. I need not say how much committed I was towards these self improvement exercises as My present physical state is a good report card and speaks for itself.
So all these thoughts of lifestyle changes using New Year Resolution as a means for remaking my life have not been very effective so far. But then I am a born optimist and a great believer in the saying “Failure is the stepping stone to success”( Only thing is in my case success seems to be residing on the top floor of a 25 storied building with no lift ) . So not to give up , this year too I dared to make a resolve , to supervise my son’s studies seriously. I told him “you will be in class IX and both you and I need to take care of your academics seriously” . Although he laughed at it at first possibly factoring in my past performance , he was still apprehensive. He should not have bothered much of course because by the time his final term got over my vigilance had become 10% of original. He is still waiting for it to come down to 0.
Since I am publishing this post more than 4 months (that too after being subtly reminded by friends and colleagues that I am getting lazier day by day) , my Son was a little curious to know about the subject of the post . After listening about the topic he rolled his eyes cynically and asked “don’t you think you are a little late to write about new year resolutions, we are in April now” . I told him we have the advantage of being able to make resolutions and introspect about them atleast two times a year. Once according to the Gregorian calandar and again in April when in many regions of India, the Solar New Year begins (Vishub Sankranti , Vishu, Baisakhi , Poila Baisakh ) . Since today is Oriya New Year Day , this is the right for reflecting on why my stack of good intentions before the new year were often derailed and drained within a few weeks.
As I think and ponder over them , the First thing which comes to my mind is that my goals were probably too many at a time and hence unattainable . One must prioritise the resolutions and choose the one most essential or most critical at the moment . Trying to reduce , learn piano , master continental cooking all at a time is a ridiculous proposition for normal and lazy human beings like . So One At a Time is the Mantra. Secondly instead of having vague subjective goals, it should be more objective , focused and for smaller period to start with . For example instead of Exercise More and reduce weight, it should be like spending 45 min on the treadmill for atleast 5 days a week or trying to reduce 1 Kg in one month. This way goals can be measurable as well as accomplishable. Thirdly The resolutions should be shared amongst friends and family members even at the cost of inviting their cynicism. They can help us by accompanying us in the path or their stimulus in the form gentle nudges when we digress from our path can help in generating the required response in us. Fourthly , resolutions should not be done whimsically without much thought or planning . More the amount of emotional investment we make towards our resolves more is the desire and motivation to keep it going . Last but not the least is the perseverance . There is no substitute to hard work . So this is the most vital ingredient in making the resolution recipe a mouth watering one.
Now coming to my next year’s resolutions , yes I have already made one . This time no excuses will be allowed and no rationalization of lapses and failures. I have resolved to be a more punctual , more sincere and more serious blogger and would contribute at least two posts for month . Now that I have made it open on the net , please don’t forget to give me that much needed push in the right direction when I don’t appear to work hard enough …
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. ~Author Unknown
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