Sunday, March 29, 2009
MEN WILL BE MEN
MEN WILL BE MEN
“Oh my my, does God still create these kind of caring, sensitive and romantic men” I exclaimed with utmost disbelief and a tinge of sarcasm. I was watching the movie ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’ with my husband on Television . An extremely romantic scene was in progress. The heroine (Kajol) , after observing a fast (owing to a traditional ritual called Karva chauth) fights with the hero for not caring about her , only to realize he hadn't eaten the whole day without her either.
It did not take me very long after marriage vows were exchanged to realise that life (read married life) was not a quintessential Mills & Boons Romance chapter. The Tall, Dark, Square-jawed hero with bulging biceps and huge bank balance who invariably set the pulses of young girls racing , seemed to exist only between the covers of a Barbara Cartland Novel or in Bollywood movies. But Sharukh Khan, delivering a romantic coup-de-grace on Kajol by declaring that he too had not taken a morsel , re-enacted the archetypal sensitive , caring hero of childhood dreams . The real life husband , sitting next to me and munching popcorn resolutely, appeared to drill a hole on the canvass of my colourful illusion. I, decided, then and there, to teach him a lesson on marital sensitivity by advising him to take a leaf out of this highly instructive bollywood movie and its great hero. With such a powerful visual lesson, I thought he would learn and stay learned for good !
“Oh my my, does God still create these kind of caring, sensitive and romantic men” I exclaimed with utmost disbelief and a tinge of sarcasm. I was watching the movie ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’ with my husband on Television . An extremely romantic scene was in progress. The heroine (Kajol) , after observing a fast (owing to a traditional ritual called Karva chauth) fights with the hero for not caring about her , only to realize he hadn't eaten the whole day without her either.
It did not take me very long after marriage vows were exchanged to realise that life (read married life) was not a quintessential Mills & Boons Romance chapter. The Tall, Dark, Square-jawed hero with bulging biceps and huge bank balance who invariably set the pulses of young girls racing , seemed to exist only between the covers of a Barbara Cartland Novel or in Bollywood movies. But Sharukh Khan, delivering a romantic coup-de-grace on Kajol by declaring that he too had not taken a morsel , re-enacted the archetypal sensitive , caring hero of childhood dreams . The real life husband , sitting next to me and munching popcorn resolutely, appeared to drill a hole on the canvass of my colourful illusion. I, decided, then and there, to teach him a lesson on marital sensitivity by advising him to take a leaf out of this highly instructive bollywood movie and its great hero. With such a powerful visual lesson, I thought he would learn and stay learned for good !
So, I asked him “ do you even know when I fast ? Some times you ordered chilli chicken on one of my fast days . Why God does not make more men like Shahrukh at my time !”
But my optimism about the educative capability of Bollywood movies for a diehard realist like my husband was misplaced . Without batting an eyelid, he shot back “Hold on ! This guy is doing nothing great or exceptional. Any other man in his position could have gone on hunger strike for a month if the lady in question was Kajol. After that it was a half an hour long lecture on how privileged a man would be to have the opportunity to court Kajol etc. etc. As always, he was doing the talking with me as his captive victim! Exasperated, I started cursing myself for starting the topic and decided never to use reel life examples for settling real life scores.
Few years back I was taking JAIIB exams consisting of 5 papers. I had completed the first four papers and was left with one paper to complete the certificate. One of my colleagues who was then posted at Andaman & Nicober Islands called me up before the exam to wish me luck. Since it was an online examination, result was out after as soon as the paper was over. I came home happy after passing and later in the evening my friend called me up to congratulate on my result. I was highly impressed and told the same to my hubby since he was not even aware I was taking some test. I told him “ See, you do not even care to know whether I am at all taking any exam or not and look at my friend. He is so concerned, not only did he call me to wish luck, he also took the trouble of finding the result. I wish you learnt some thing from him”. Prompt came his reply “This is most unfair. You are getting me all wrong. I could have done much better than what your friend has done. I could have even sent a card and couriored some flowers . Only problem why I have never been able to do any such creditable thing is because none of my Lady Colleagues ever feels like taking any exam. So you see, you can not blame me for not being a caring person”. Once again I was flabbergasted and just did not know how to react.
Recently , one of my friends who stays in Delhi had suddenly called me after Valentine’s Day and we had a long chat . Amongst other things, she described me how she celebrated Valentine's Day with her hubby with candle light dinner, soft music, dim lights followed by a romantic movie. After the conversation, I was wondering aloud “Wow, even after 15 years of marriage, people have so much of romanticism left”. My hubby must have overheard me, since I was thinking a little extra louder. He got up from the bed, opened the door to the balcony and started gazing at the sky. “Hey what are you doing outside, please close the door, AC is on” I chided. To which he answered “Last time this sort of thing had happened, four stars had fallen from the sky. So I was waiting to see, what is it this time” and entered the room swiftly before I could bolt the door from inside.
Of late, I have been getting the opportunity to leave office a little earlier than my usual departure time. I decided to utilise these extra hours to complete pending personal jobs. On one of these leisurely days I visited the salon for a long overdue haircut and told the hairdresser to give me a new hairdo. I was quite excited after the make over and waited for my hubby’s return from office for his reaction / comments. Well, when he did not seem to notice any thing different, I started giving subtle hints. When even that didn’t work out, instead of beating around the bush, I ed out “ can’t you find some thing different in me”. After scrutinizing intently for 5 minutes , he sounded “oh, you are wearing a new outfit! Good one, when did you buy it”, looking at my two year old faded salwar kameez. I felt like banging my head against the wall. But some how controlled my temper and told him coolly “ I think you badly need to consult a psychiatrist and an ophthalmologist. My new hair style is 3 hours old and clothes have experienced at least 40 washes…”. “This only proves I am quite normal , so I don’t need to go to a psychiatrist. A research study says two things most married men never seem to remember or notice are their wives’ birth-days and hairstyle alterations” he said in his characteristic dismissive tone. Disgusted I said “ I think I should be given a Magsese Award for putting up with you” and left in a huff. But I could hear his voice echoing from the back “Thank God, you didn’t expect a Nobel . I know dozens of wives who think even the Nobel Peace Prize is not an adequate compensation for tolerating their husbands”.
Finally when I threatened that I was going to narrate my experiences in my blog, he was least bothered. Instead, he declared patronizingly :
“By all means, go ahead. You must publish these things in your post, only then will you realise that your experiences are shared by 99.999% of married ladies and rest .001% simply lie………”
But my optimism about the educative capability of Bollywood movies for a diehard realist like my husband was misplaced . Without batting an eyelid, he shot back “Hold on ! This guy is doing nothing great or exceptional. Any other man in his position could have gone on hunger strike for a month if the lady in question was Kajol. After that it was a half an hour long lecture on how privileged a man would be to have the opportunity to court Kajol etc. etc. As always, he was doing the talking with me as his captive victim! Exasperated, I started cursing myself for starting the topic and decided never to use reel life examples for settling real life scores.
Few years back I was taking JAIIB exams consisting of 5 papers. I had completed the first four papers and was left with one paper to complete the certificate. One of my colleagues who was then posted at Andaman & Nicober Islands called me up before the exam to wish me luck. Since it was an online examination, result was out after as soon as the paper was over. I came home happy after passing and later in the evening my friend called me up to congratulate on my result. I was highly impressed and told the same to my hubby since he was not even aware I was taking some test. I told him “ See, you do not even care to know whether I am at all taking any exam or not and look at my friend. He is so concerned, not only did he call me to wish luck, he also took the trouble of finding the result. I wish you learnt some thing from him”. Prompt came his reply “This is most unfair. You are getting me all wrong. I could have done much better than what your friend has done. I could have even sent a card and couriored some flowers . Only problem why I have never been able to do any such creditable thing is because none of my Lady Colleagues ever feels like taking any exam. So you see, you can not blame me for not being a caring person”. Once again I was flabbergasted and just did not know how to react.
Recently , one of my friends who stays in Delhi had suddenly called me after Valentine’s Day and we had a long chat . Amongst other things, she described me how she celebrated Valentine's Day with her hubby with candle light dinner, soft music, dim lights followed by a romantic movie. After the conversation, I was wondering aloud “Wow, even after 15 years of marriage, people have so much of romanticism left”. My hubby must have overheard me, since I was thinking a little extra louder. He got up from the bed, opened the door to the balcony and started gazing at the sky. “Hey what are you doing outside, please close the door, AC is on” I chided. To which he answered “Last time this sort of thing had happened, four stars had fallen from the sky. So I was waiting to see, what is it this time” and entered the room swiftly before I could bolt the door from inside.
Of late, I have been getting the opportunity to leave office a little earlier than my usual departure time. I decided to utilise these extra hours to complete pending personal jobs. On one of these leisurely days I visited the salon for a long overdue haircut and told the hairdresser to give me a new hairdo. I was quite excited after the make over and waited for my hubby’s return from office for his reaction / comments. Well, when he did not seem to notice any thing different, I started giving subtle hints. When even that didn’t work out, instead of beating around the bush, I ed out “ can’t you find some thing different in me”. After scrutinizing intently for 5 minutes , he sounded “oh, you are wearing a new outfit! Good one, when did you buy it”, looking at my two year old faded salwar kameez. I felt like banging my head against the wall. But some how controlled my temper and told him coolly “ I think you badly need to consult a psychiatrist and an ophthalmologist. My new hair style is 3 hours old and clothes have experienced at least 40 washes…”. “This only proves I am quite normal , so I don’t need to go to a psychiatrist. A research study says two things most married men never seem to remember or notice are their wives’ birth-days and hairstyle alterations” he said in his characteristic dismissive tone. Disgusted I said “ I think I should be given a Magsese Award for putting up with you” and left in a huff. But I could hear his voice echoing from the back “Thank God, you didn’t expect a Nobel . I know dozens of wives who think even the Nobel Peace Prize is not an adequate compensation for tolerating their husbands”.
Finally when I threatened that I was going to narrate my experiences in my blog, he was least bothered. Instead, he declared patronizingly :
“By all means, go ahead. You must publish these things in your post, only then will you realise that your experiences are shared by 99.999% of married ladies and rest .001% simply lie………”
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